Search Results

✅ Personal and Professional Take away - It's systems that make the difference. Learning a system and implementing it to create a repeatable, ingrained Kindness Habit will produce the desired results. SHOUT OUTS I'm all about shouting out about great books I've read. Today I'll share two more. First, a shout out to David J. Friedman, CEO at CultureWise. Well really two shout outs - one for his book Culture by Design: 8 simple steps to drive better organizational performance, and one for the second edition, Culture by Design: How to Build a High-Performing Culture, Even in the New Remote Work Environment. The first book offers a practical guidance for designing a lasting organizational culture, one that will be around for decades. The second book builds on that, more fully introducing what the author calls the Culturewise cultural operating system, and adds in specific guidance for building a thriving, high-performing culture even if your organization is mixed with both remote and in-office workers or fully remote. David Friedman is an excellent story teller and his engaging writing style will keep your attention riveted as you read. His system has been used by hundreds of companies to build thriving cultures. His deliberate design has highly influenced my thinking (more on that later). I highly recommend both books you can get them at the links shown above. My second shout out is to James Clear groundbreaking author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. Mr. Clear shares his powerful daily improvement framework, years in the making, that has helped him and millions of others to create powerful habits and the systems around them to produce tremendous results. The author shares events from his personal life, including getting drilled in the head with a baseball bat and all the difficult work and effort that went in to recovering from that challenge. It is that work and effort that led him down the atomic habit road that was the inspiration for his book. I found the book engaging, powerful and tremendously insightful. As I've striven to apply what I've learned, I have already started reaping the benefits and I am confident you will too. Highly recommended reading. Systems Make the Difference Notice my use of the word "system." Culturewise has created a cultural operating system that empowers organizations to tailor and design a culture attracts and retains top talent. It also enables organizations to attract and retain great customers and turns them in to raving fans that are happy to spread the word about them. It is systems, as James Clear points out in Atomic Habits that make the difference. Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results. Clear, James. Atomic Habits (p. 23). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. NOTE: To be clear, I AM NOT saying goals don't matter. What I am saying is that you won't achieve them if you don't have a solid system in place to attaining them. The end goal for the Kindness Habit is to create and maintain the powerful, trustworthy relationships that enable an enhanced personal and professional culture which is the keystone of all personal and professional success. In Culture by Design David Friedman introduces an 8 step framework, or system, for creating a thriving culture. Define the employee behaviors (Fundamentals) that drive your success Ritualize the practice of your Fundamentals Select people who are the right fit for your culture Integrate new hires into your culture Communicate your culture throughout your entire organization Coach to reinforce your culture Lead your culture by example Drive your culture through accountability This is basically the same system, with some slight changes, that I use to teach how to use the kindness habit to intentionally create your personal and professional kindness cultures. Below are the Kindness habit systems. Identify the essential kindness behaviors (EKBs) by which you intentionally show value and appreciation for yourself and others. Create triggers for repeated practice of the identified EKBs to create and reinforce the kindness habit. Find and interact with people who are the right fit for your personal kindness culture Lead by example in using intentional kindness behaviors. Invite and encourage others to adopt and those same EKBs. Drive your personal kindness culture by holding yourself accountable. Professional Kindness Habit Value and Appreciation System Identify the employee essential kindness behaviors (EKBs) that intentionally show the value and appreciation that drives your organizational success. Create triggers for repeated practice of the identified EKBs to create and reinforce the kindness habit. Select people who are the right fit for your kindness culture. Integrate new hires into your kindness culture Communicate your intentional kindness culture throughout your entire organization Mentor and coach the intentional EKBs Lead by example Drive your kindness culture through accountability. Those are the outline steps for a system that anyone can use to ingrain the kindness habit that will create a thriving personal and professional culture. Why Bother? That's a question worth answering. In short, building the kindness habit and ingraining it personally and professionally will result in increased, richer, and more powerfully transformative and trusting relationships - the kind that always lead to an increased bottom line. Over the next few weeks I'll walk you through the system to give you insight in to how it can work to your benefit. What's Next I've just given you a lot of food for thought. There is a lot of effort that goes into creating the system that will produce broad rewards through through powerful and trustworthy relationships that will come. It isn't possible to cover what needs to be covered in a single news letter. Join me over the next few weeks on a journey through the Kindness Habit system. I can promise you it will be a valuable use of your time. Until next week. Remember to embrace kindness - it does everybody good! THIS WRITING FOR THIS ARTICLE IS 100% HUMAN GENERATED. About Randy Randall McNeely is a passionate advocate for kindness and the transformative power it can have in our lives. He is the author of multiple books including The Kindness Givers' Formula 2.0: A 5-Step Guide to Reaching Hearts, Inspiring Change, and Healing the World Through Love, and The Kindness Library Volume 1: Inspiring True Stories of the Transformative Power of Kindness. Randy speaks about and teaches how to lead with kindness to bring out the best in others and get fantastic results. Reach out today with a direct message to book Randy for your next event. Sponsored by - The Kindness Shop Kindness Worldwide Stop by their website to find out how you can help your city can establish World Kindness Week and become a City of Kindness

Key Takeaways Up Front: ✅ Personal Passing your thoughts toward yourself through the three doors will result in a better self-image and more positive feelings ✅ Professional Passing words through the three doors before saying them will result in less toxicity and a more uplifting atmosphere at work. SHOUT OUT Quick shout out to Brad Aronson author of the kindness book I wish I'd written: HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act At a Time. This magnificent book will have your heart cheering from start to finish. Brad's life changed in an instant when his wife, Mia, was diagnosed with leukemia. After her diagnosis, Brad spent most of the next two and a half years either by her side as she received treatment or trying to shield their five-year-old son, Jack, from the worst of Mia's illness. Amid the stress and despair of waiting for the treatment to work, Brad and Mia were met by an outpouring of kindness from friends, family, and even complete strangers. Brad shares those stories and the stories of so many more whose lives have been transformed through one small act of kindness at a time. You'll learn about the founder of the Secret Santa movement. You read about a young boy whose life was completely changed by a stranger who bought him a hamburger. WARNING: YOU WILL NEED A TISSUE BOX CLOSE BY! Quick Recap From Last Week: How we see ourselves matters! - We spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days per year with ourselves. How view of ourselves, negative or positive, will determine how we approach life and the results we will get from the actions we take based on that approach. How we see others matters! - We interact with others on a regular basis. Words have power. How we see others positively or negatively, will drive the words we say to and the actions we take towards others. Seeing the best in others helps us to help them bring out the best in themselves and in turn helps us bring out the best in ourselves. Call to Action - Follow this formula for a week and report results: Every day, embrace a mindset/heartset to see and think of yourself and others as human beings who deserve to be valued and appreciated. Every day, determine to be a Kindness Giver, to yourself and others. Every day, think of and plan ways to be a Kindness Giver Every day, look for and act on opportunities to be a Kindness Giver Every day, invite and encourage others to do the same. Every day, reflect on and record your experiences, both with giving and receiving kindness. I have a problem with that call to action. The focus of last week's newsletter was on seeing the best in ourselves in others in order to bring out the best in ourselves and others. The first step in the formula focuses on that, which is what I should have focused on then. So, here's a NEW CALL TO ACTION This week focus on how you speak to yourself personally, and to others in your professional position. Keep it simple. Take the time to put the things you think and speak through three doors. Door 1 - Is it necessary? Door 2 - Is it kind? Door 3 - Is it true? Hyrum Smith, founder of Franklin Planning called these the golden doors or ways to speak in golden tongues. I first heard him speak about them years ago and have been blessed by using them ever since. If you can't say yes to all three, don't allow the negative thoughts to stay in your mind personally. The same goes for professional situations. If you do something you think or know was dumb, before you beat yourself up, put your thoughts through the three doors. If someone at works says or does something that irritates you, before you respond, put your response through the three doors. You will be amazed at how passing your thoughts towards yourself and the words you say to others through those three doors will impact your week. If you really put an effort into it, I can promise it will make a difference. EXAMPLE 1 We put this effort in practice at home. Admittedly, there have been periods of silence because what people wanted to say, didn't past the three-door test. However, the silence was better than the usual contention that exploded. What's been truly gratifying, however, is how over time, better, more positive words have been used that avoided contention and lead to greater unity and peace. Example 2 I've used the three doors as work. I once had a colleague who regularly took offense if he thought someone was telling him what to do. It is true that it is human nature to dislike having anyone tell us what to do so I can understand that. The problem was, "Fred" (name changed), often got bent out of shape when someone simply relayed a message to our group, asking us to help with something. I had that experience with him. Our boss asked me to relay a message to our group asking us, when we finished a specific task, to step in and help with another one that needed team attention. I relayed the message and Fred came unglued. I tried to stay calm and simply point out that I was just the messenger. That didn't matter to him. He ranted for 10 minutes about people trying to tell him what to do and how he already knew what to do so he didn't need anyone telling him. For the next few weeks, Fred refused to talk to me. During that time, I had numerous nasty things come to mind to say to him every time I saw him. Rather than say them I made a concerted effort see Fred for the good man he was most of the time, and passed the things I wanted to say through the three doors. If I couldn't say yes to all three, I didn't say anything. When I could, I said things that were complimentary, even though he ignored me. Then Fred needed help. We had a customer who need Fred's help, but the customer, a native Spanish speaker, only spoke broken English. Fred didn't speak any Spanish, and he knew I did. So, he swallowed his pride and came and asked for my help. It would have been easy for me to turn him away and tell him to get someone else to help him. But I didn't. I responded positively and was able to help the customer get what they needed. The next day, a customer came to me asking for help with something I knew was in Fred's area of expertise, so I went to him and asked if he could help with that customer. He was happy to help. I asked if I could tag along and learn from him. He said yes. The next day, I told Fred how much I appreciated him helping me out and how I admired his knowledge in that area. He then responded by saying how glad he was that I could speak Spanish and how cool it was that I was able to help that customer. Fred and I never had another run in. Rather we developed a great friendship that is still going. Let's make this next a great week! Until next week. Remember to embrace kindness - it does everybody good! THIS WRITING FOR THIS ARTICLE IS 100% HUMAN GENERATED. About Randy Randall McNeely is a passionate advocate for kindness and the transformative power it can have in our lives. He is the author of multiple books including The Kindness Givers' Formula 2.0: A 5-Step Guide to Reaching Hearts, Inspiring Change, and Healing the World Through Love, and The Kindness Library Volume 1: Inspiring True Stories of the Transformative Power of Kindness. Randy speaks about and teaches how to lead with kindness to bring out the best in others and get fantastic results. Reach out today to book Randy for your next event. Sponsored by - The Kindness Shop Kindness Worldwide Stop by their website to find out how you can help your city can establish World Kindness Week and become a City of Kindness

Key Takeaways Up Front: ✅ How we see ourselves and others matters ✅ How we think about ourselves will determine our resilience, strength and determination to carry on in the face of adversity ✅ How we see others will drive how we treat others ✅ Seeking to bring the best out in others will bring the best our in ourselves. Shout Outs! Before I jump into this edition of The Kindness Habit, I need to give a couple of shout outs. NOTE - None of those included in the shout outs knew they were coming! First, congratulations to the amazing kindness advocate, Barbara Vercruysse on the release of her new book, The Path of Powerful Kindness: A Return to Humanness. It came out on November 15th, 2023. In it Barbara shares powerful insights on regaining our humanness - the ability to see ourselves and others as human beings - and how we can reconnect to the power of kindness. She shares a simple pragmatic approach for becoming an agent for transformation on a micro and macro level. Second, congratulations to Tim Wenzel, CPP and Lee Oughton CSMP® on the release of their amazing book The Kindness Games: How a Single Post Changed Our Mindset about Community. The book takes you through the amazing journey that began with a single post during the Covid 19 pandemic, challenging people to be more kind. In it you'll get to read powerful stories of transformation that happened as people embraced intentional kindness. Now to this week's newsletter. Call to Action Review At the end of last week's edition I posed the following questions: How do I see and think about the people around me - all the people around me? How do I see myself? Do I see and think about myself and others as having the same basic needs to live, to love and be loved, to feel important? Or do I dehumanize myself or others, and see myself and others as objects, as mere pawns in the game of life. I then invited you to chew on those questions for a while because they are vital to our own progression and to our ability to help others to progress. Did you do it? What insights did you discover? If you're willing to share, I'd love to hear about them in the comments. Let's take a few minutes to discuss them. In reality, the second and third questions could have been combined and so my approach in this writing comes from that perspective. How We See Ourselves Why does how you and I see ourselves matter? It matters because the reality of life is that you and I can never get away from ourselves. We are with ourselves day in day out 365 days a year. That constant companionship includes constant companionship with our thoughts, attitudes, and desires which drive our actions which create habits. Common sense and experience show when we see ourselves as wonderful human beings who, though we have our weaknesses, deserve to be valued and appreciated, we have a greater tendency towards resilience, strength, and determination, even in the most challenging of circumstances. We also know through experience that the opposite is true. If we dehumanize ourselves, seeing and treating ourselves as objects or symbols, or if we constantly feast on a diet of negative self-talk and develop a sour relationship with ourselves, our ability to stand strong in the face of adversity is diminished and our strength and determination weakened. Our self-worth takes a nosedive. In that weakened condition we find it is much easier to embrace a victim mentality, jump on the pity mobile ride for a while and allow our vision and feeling focus to be sucked inwards. We find ourselves wandering in the dark, spending precious time in unproductive, wallowing stagnation, when we could be spending that same time in productive, lifting and building, both of ourselves and others. As human beings, you and I have the ability to choose how we will see, think about, and relate to ourselves. THAT IS POWERFUL! I know of many people, who, having been exposed to the most negative and violent environments, have determined that though they couldn't control their environments, only they had control of their minds. Others faced tremendous physical difficulties, that could have crippled them mentally and emotionally, yet, they chose not to let their circumstances control their thoughts and attitudes towards themselves. Victor Frankl, Corrie Ten Boom, Nic Vujicic, and Eric Weihenmayer come to mind. How We See Others Our self-view has a direct impact on the forging of the lens by which we see others. Just as objectifying ourselves has a detrimental, dehumanizing impact, the objectification of others has the same dehumanizing affect. When we see others as "less than," pride and arrogance raise their ugly heads and we find it much easier to treat people poorly than we would otherwise, because in reality, "less than," is "less than human." We see ugly examples of this all over social media where people vilify and malign each other with impunity because each individual or group sees the other individual or group as inferior. Incivility reigns in many conversations from pundits, influencers, and politicians alike. The truth is, everyone who embraces dehumanization is in reality embracing misery for themselves and misery for others. The opposite is also true. Everyone who embraces humanization, seeing others as human beings who deserve to be valued and appreciated, embraces happiness for themselves and happiness for others. In the opening graphic I included the following quote: “When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” The converse of that statement is also true. When we seek to discover the best in ourselves, it is much easier to bring out the best in others! I know through personal experience that when I'm in a state of healthy balance with my self-image, it is much easier to see and think of others with that same balance. It is much easier to see other as human beings who have the same needs that I have -- desires to live, love and be loved, and to feel valued and appreciated. Rather than having my vision sucked inward as described above, I find it easy to focus outward and see others with a caring eye, putting myself in a much better position to lift, build, and strengthen if needed. I'm willing to bet many, if not most of you, have had the same experience. Practical Formula At this point, you might be thinking, "that is all well and good, but where's the proof. You haven't sited any studies." I've found in life, at least with regards to the things we're discussing, it is easier to do a personal study and get first hand experience that allows us to see and feel things in the moment, is the best way to learn. To that end I've created a practical formula that I'll share here. EMBRACE a love-focused mindset/heartset and DETERMINE to be a Kindness Giver. Every day, THINK of and PLAN ways to be a Kindness Giver Every day, LOOK for and ACT on opportunities to be a Kindness Giver Every day, INVITE and ENCOURAGE others to do the same. Every day, REFLECT on and RECORD your experiences, both with giving and receiving kindness. Call to Action Over the next 7 days, put this formula to work in your own life - personally and professionally. I'll be doing it right along with you. I invite you to come prepared to report your efforts in the comments for next week's newsletter. I am bold enough to make you this promise. If you will put this formula into practice faithfully over the next seven days it will have a transformational impact on your life and allow you to have that same impact on others. How? It will broaden your vision and expand your mind and heart toward yourself and others - helping you SEE THE BEST AND BE THE BEST! It will open opportunities to lift, build, and love others personally and professional in ways you don't expect. It will increase your personal and professional happiness and joy. That is bold, but I can say I know it is true because I have experienced it myself. Until next week. Remember to embrace kindness - it does everybody good! THIS WRITING FOR THIS ARTICLE IS 100% HUMAN GENERATED. About Randy Randall McNeely is a passionate advocate for kindness and the transformative power it can have in our lives. He is the author of multiple books including The Kindness Givers' Formula 2.0: A 5-Step Guide to Reaching Hearts, Inspiring Change, and Healing the World Through Love, and The Kindness Library Volume 1: Inspiring True Stories of the Transformative Power of Kindness. Randy speaks about and teaches how to lead with kindness to bring out the best in others and get fantastic results. Reach out today with a direct message to book Randy for your next event. Sponsored by - The Kindness Shop Kindness Worldwide Stop by their website to find out how you can help your city can establish World Kindness Week and become a City of Kindness

KEY TAKE AWAYS: ✅ The Kindness Habit - Putting love into action through intentional kindness every day by embracing behaviors that show value and appreciation for ourselves and others. ✅ Kindness only matters if you're looking for ways to thrive personally and professionally. ✅ Kindness is the keystone habit for on which every other habit hinges for success. The Kindness Habit The Kindness Habit? What is it and why does it matter to you, both personally and professionally? The Kindness Habit is simply this: Putting love into action through intentional kindness every day by embracing behaviors that show value and appreciation for ourselves and others. That's it. Does it really matter? Does the Kindness Habit matter either personally or professionally (meaning as an entrepreneur or business organization)? Well, that depends. If, personally and/or professionally, you enjoy a toxic culture, thrive on negative relationships, love stress, appreciate stunted productivity, low morale, poor collaboration, lousy employee and customer satisfaction, desire poorer mental, physical, and emotional health, and relish lowered financial results, then the Kindness Habit probably won't matter to you. If, on the other hand, you're searching for ways to thrive both personally and professionally, the Kindness Habit is the keystone habit that will make all the difference! What I am saying is that it is the keystone habit - the habit on which every other habit hinges for our success. It is the only habit that leads to true joy, happiness, and well-being. How can I make that bold assertion? Because we, as human beings, no matter where we are in the world, no matter our race, gender, religious or non-religious affiliations, have the same basic needs to live, to love and be loved, and to feel important (valued and appreciated). As individuals we are inextricably connected to those needs and as fellow human beings, we are inextricably connected to each other in order to fulfill them. You may be wondering how I, a cybersecurity guy turned kindness advocate who has no degree in psychology or behavioral science, can make such a bold statement. However, it is not rocket science and doesn't take years of study to know that when you or I adopt behaviors that show value and appreciation for ourselves and others, our chances of developing mutually beneficial relationships go up. We've all experienced it personally and professionally. We can also observe, that when we adopt the opposite behaviors, our relationships with both ourselves and others, begin to wither and we struggle. It is the Kindness Habit that empowers us to build and maintain the powerful, trustworthy relationships that create, maintain, and enhance those connections. Obviously, this is a newsletter. The Kindness Habit definition of "putting love in to action through intentional kindness every day by embracing behaviors that show value and appreciation for ourselves and others," is simple and straight forward, but it covers a lot of territory. Behaviors by which we show value and appreciation to ourselves and others are numerous - too numerous to cover in an inaugural newsletter. However, here is some food for thought to mull over in your mind until next week's installment. Take a few minutes and ask yourself, the following questions. How do I see and think about the people around me - all the people around me? How do I see myself? Do I see and think about myself and others as having the same basic needs to live, to love and be loved, to feel important? Or do I dehumanize myself or others, and see myself and others as objects, as mere pawns in the game of life. I invite you to chew on those questions for a while. The answers are vital. How we see and think about ourselves and others drives how we feel about ourselves and others which drives the behaviors we embrace towards ourselves and others. While it may seem like and idealistic statement, it is nevertheless true. It is only when we begin to see, think and feel that we and others deserve to be valued and appreciated that we begin to act that way. It is then that the transformation that only loving and caring behaviors can bring, begins. Until next week. Remember to embrace kindness - it does everybody good! THIS WRITING FOR THIS ARTICLE IS 100% HUMAN GENERATED. About Randy Randall McNeely is a passionate advocate for kindness and the transformative power it can have in our lives. He is the author of multiple books including The Kindness Givers' Formula 2.0: A 5-Step Guide to Reaching Hearts, Inspiring Change, and Healing the World Through Love, and The Kindness Library Volume 1: Inspiring True Stories of the Transformative Power of Kindness. Randy speaks about and teaches how to lead with kindness to bring out the best in others and get fantastic results. Book Randy today for your next event. Sponsored by - THE KINDNESS SHOP Kindness Worldwide Stop by their website to find out how you can help your city can establish World Kindness Week and become a City of Kindness. Sources: 1 - Jenet Jacob Erickson - Designed for Covenant Relationships - BYU Speeches, November 8, 2022 - https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jenet-erickson/designed-for-covenant-relationships/