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THE KINDNESS HABIT - LOGO 300x300-white-background.png
THE KINDNESS HABIT - LOGO 300x300-white-background.png
  • Writer's pictureRandall McNeely

Keep It Simple - Three Doors to Peaceful Thoughts and Kind Words

Keep it Simple Meme


Key Takeaways Up Front:

✅ Personal

  • Passing your thoughts toward yourself through the three doors will result in a better self-image and more positive feelings

✅ Professional

  • Passing words through the three doors before saying them will result in less toxicity and a more uplifting atmosphere at work.


Quick shout out to Brad Aronson author of the kindness book I wish I'd written:

HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act At a Time. This magnificent book will have your heart cheering from start to finish.

Brad's life changed in an instant when his wife, Mia, was diagnosed with leukemia. After her diagnosis, Brad spent most of the next two and a half years either by her side as she received treatment or trying to shield their five-year-old son, Jack, from the worst of Mia's illness. Amid the stress and despair of waiting for the treatment to work, Brad and Mia were met by an outpouring of kindness from friends, family, and even complete strangers.

Brad shares those stories and the stories of so many more whose lives have been transformed through one small act of kindness at a time. You'll learn about the founder of the Secret Santa movement. You read about a young boy whose life was completely changed by a stranger who bought him a hamburger.


Quick Recap From Last Week:

  • How we see ourselves matters! - We spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days per year with ourselves. How view of ourselves, negative or positive, will determine how we approach life and the results we will get from the actions we take based on that approach.

  • How we see others matters! - We interact with others on a regular basis. Words have power. How we see others positively or negatively, will drive the words we say to and the actions we take towards others. Seeing the best in others helps us to help them bring out the best in themselves and in turn helps us bring out the best in ourselves.

Call to Action - Follow this formula for a week and report results:

  1. Every day, embrace a mindset/heartset to see and think of yourself and others as human beings who deserve to be valued and appreciated.

  2. Every day, determine to be a Kindness Giver, to yourself and others.

  3. Every day, think of and plan ways to be a Kindness Giver

  4. Every day, look for and act on opportunities to be a Kindness Giver

  5. Every day, invite and encourage others to do the same.

  6. Every day, reflect on and record your experiences, both with giving and receiving kindness.

I have a problem with that call to action.

The focus of last week's newsletter was on seeing the best in ourselves in others in order to bring out the best in ourselves and others. The first step in the formula focuses on that, which is what I should have focused on then.


This week focus on how you speak to yourself personally, and to others in your professional position. Keep it simple. Take the time to put the things you think and speak through three doors.

  • Door 1 - Is it necessary?

  • Door 2 - Is it kind?

  • Door 3 - Is it true?

Hyrum Smith, founder of Franklin Planning called these the golden doors or ways to speak in golden tongues. I first heard him speak about them years ago and have been blessed by using them ever since.

If you can't say yes to all three, don't allow the negative thoughts to stay in your mind personally. The same goes for professional situations.

If you do something you think or know was dumb, before you beat yourself up, put your thoughts through the three doors.

If someone at works says or does something that irritates you, before you respond, put your response through the three doors.

You will be amazed at how passing your thoughts towards yourself and the words you say to others through those three doors will impact your week. If you really put an effort into it, I can promise it will make a difference.


We put this effort in practice at home. Admittedly, there have been periods of silence because what people wanted to say, didn't past the three-door test. However, the silence was better than the usual contention that exploded. What's been truly gratifying, however, is how over time, better, more positive words have been used that avoided contention and lead to greater unity and peace.

Example 2

I've used the three doors as work. I once had a colleague who regularly took offense if he thought someone was telling him what to do. It is true that it is human nature to dislike having anyone tell us what to do so I can understand that.

The problem was, "Fred" (name changed), often got bent out of shape when someone simply relayed a message to our group, asking us to help with something.

I had that experience with him. Our boss asked me to relay a message to our group asking us, when we finished a specific task, to step in and help with another one that needed team attention. I relayed the message and Fred came unglued. I tried to stay calm and simply point out that I was just the messenger. That didn't matter to him. He ranted for 10 minutes about people trying to tell him what to do and how he already knew what to do so he didn't need anyone telling him.

For the next few weeks, Fred refused to talk to me. During that time, I had numerous nasty things come to mind to say to him every time I saw him. Rather than say them I made a concerted effort see Fred for the good man he was most of the time, and passed the things I wanted to say through the three doors. If I couldn't say yes to all three, I didn't say anything. When I could, I said things that were complimentary, even though he ignored me.

Then Fred needed help. We had a customer who need Fred's help, but the customer, a native Spanish speaker, only spoke broken English. Fred didn't speak any Spanish, and he knew I did. So, he swallowed his pride and came and asked for my help. It would have been easy for me to turn him away and tell him to get someone else to help him. But I didn't. I responded positively and was able to help the customer get what they needed.

The next day, a customer came to me asking for help with something I knew was in Fred's area of expertise, so I went to him and asked if he could help with that customer. He was happy to help. I asked if I could tag along and learn from him. He said yes. The next day, I told Fred how much I appreciated him helping me out and how I admired his knowledge in that area. He then responded by saying how glad he was that I could speak Spanish and how cool it was that I was able to help that customer.

Fred and I never had another run in. Rather we developed a great friendship that is still going.

3 Golden Doors of Thought and Speech
Golden Doors of Thought and Speech

Let's make this next a great week!

Until next week. Remember to embrace kindness - it does everybody good!


Randall McNeely signature.

About Randy

Randall McNeely is a passionate advocate for kindness and the transformative power it can have in our lives.

Randy speaks about and teaches how to lead with kindness to bring out the best in others and get fantastic results.

Reach out today to book Randy for your next event.

Sponsored by -

Stop by their website to find out how you can help your city can establish World Kindness Week and become a City of Kindness


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